I can’t get a security clearance!

(an actual real-life situation)

Question: I have been looking for computer programming work for over the past year, but nobody’s hiring. At first I blamed in on “the Bush recession,” age discrimination, and outsourcing to India, but now I think it’s my wife’s felony conviction that’s could be the problem. I have an impressive resume and and NO criminal record, although my wife has one. So what’s the problem?

What’s the nature of your wife’s conviction?

“Mailing foot powder (fake anthrax powder) to the local water dept., (a 2nd degree Felony in the State of Florida). John Ellis “FIB” Bush put this G**damn law in place. She’s now a convicted ‘terrorist.'”

Answer: That can most definitely be your problem right there. Unfortunately, in the software engineering / programming field, employers are requiring security clearances and so are not just running security checks, and criminal background checks on you, the job seeker, but on your wife as well. Private companies in the software computer programming field today are very concerned about security because of growing concern about “cyber terrorism” and identify theft. Much of the work of programmers and software engineers intails working with encryption technology, and security.

Answer: That’s pretty bad. There’s 2 strikes against you already. We’re not just talking about a felony conviction here, but one that’s terrorist-related on top of that. Not good! You may want to look into self-employment as an option.

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